The final part of the somewhat unpleasant visit to the planet of the pigs.
Read the first part here: hive53.deviantart.com/journal/…
And the second part here: hive53.deviantart.com/journal/…
What does it tell about my way of living that I'm actually happily anticipating this particular noise? That's just sick, right? Anway, when the whining noise of the dart tore through the night chill, I was relieved beyond words.
The townsquare was in sight at the end of the road that sloped downwards. I had a hard time struggling my way towards it as slippery mud threatened to eat my boots while the yelling and squealing grew louder behind me. The whole scene was garishly lit by two full moons with their bright light bouncing off the snow. It was easy to discern the black dot of the approaching dart against the lighter sky as I hurtled in its direction. A sharp twang of a bowstring being released sounded near me and I heard something whizz past my ear. Crap! Now they had crossbows!
The whining noise above had grown in volume and was already near enough for me to make out the characteristic hum of the custom engine hull that Tox had built in. For the first time, I was grateful for all the hours he spent on modifying that thing because he wanted it to be the fasted dart in the galaxy.
Almost there! Almost! Mother Sow, however, was not impressed at all by either the spacecraft nor its hellish noise, for she sped up downhill and I could hear her laboured wheezing close behind me. Too close for my taste! Instinct made me jump just as she snapped at my ankles. We both lost our footing and I crashed down on her hard, broad back. A righteously outraged squeal told the world just how ticked off she was. Her wrath was nothing against my terror though, as she toppled over, taking me with her, and the two of us tumbled head over heels downwards. My vision consisted of spinning pig, snow and mud in fast rotation. Our fall was stopped by a comparatively soft spot of mud which finally separated us, just as a blinding light enveloped me.
Familiar disporientation rippled through me when my molecules rearranged themselves to the form of a very bedraggled worshipper. Without much dignity, on my hands and knees on a gnarled hiveship floor with mud dripping from my clothes and hair.
Exhaling a deep sigh of relief, I drew myself upright and blinked while my eyes took their time adjusting to the hiveship gloom. Behind me, the now dormant shape of Tox's dart sat and a snarky voice rang in my ears through the sudden silence.
"Now, what in all nebulas was that
all about? Can't I even send you out on a simple mission without you messing everything up?"
Ah, good. Exactly the right person I wanted to see right now. My insides were churning with adrenaline and suppressed rage so I was glad I could get all that anger out of my system now.
"Oh yes. I'm a pathetic, incompetent moron. Forgive me for putting you in this inconvenience," I chirped, sweet as liquid honey, and turned towards Tox who'd gotten out of his dart. Though I tried to hide my intentions, he must've picked up something for he stopped in his tracks and eyed me warily.
Obviously, he had
made haste getting down to the planet because he hadn't taken time to dress properly. Wearing only his underpants – Gosh, I'm so glad he at least wore these! – he glared at me, distrust seeping out of every pore of his half-naked body. He'd crossed a line and he knew it. This was going to be good! He'd done his best to ruin my day and I would savour my revenge.
While he was trying to make out my intentions, I approached him and declared in my best grateful-dumb-maiden-voice: "Oh, thank you, my awe-inspiring master, for taking your precious time to save your unworthy servant from certain death at the feet of angry pigs. Such selfless behaviour calls for a sign of appreciation."
All right, that scared the hell out of him, I could tell by the way his eyes darted to and fro, searching for hints of hidden weaponry.
"Wait," he began. "You mightn't be aware of it, Fillyz, but there is this kinda unhinged glint in your eyes. Maybe you should just go to your nice, little quarters, have a nice, little shower and–" My attack took him by surprise.
Throwing myself forward, I hugged him as hard as I could, mud squelching out from between us. I made certain he got stinking mud in his hair, on his sparse clothing and everywhere else I could reach while staying decent. Of course, since this is Tox we're talking of, there was always the risk it might actually turn him on, but I was fairly certain that getting covered in pigshit by a ballistic worshipper in the middle of the night while freezing his butt off in the dartbay was too much, even for him. And how dead-right I was.
"Eauwwwwwwww!" He made a desperate noise between a howl and a hiss, music to my ears.
"Well, I figured it's only fair to share the fruit of my labour with you, don't you think?" I asked innocently.
"Gaaaaaah! Get off me, stinking human!" At ever other time, I would've beaten the hell out of him for this, but tonight, I let it slip. Instead, I let go and admired my work and just for a tiny moment, the trouble had almost been worth it – just to see an extremely appalled Wraith, covered in stinking mud from head to toe with a priceless expression of utter terror and disbelief on his dirt-sprinkled face. My work for tonight was done.
"And the next time you ask me for a favour," I purred. "Make sure to tell me the truth beforehand, or be prepared for the echo."
"Got it," he growled between clenched teeth, glaring daggers at me while he wiped mud off his arms. "Ah, crap! Now, would you look at that?! I've gotten STUFF into my handmouth!"
"Serves you right. Night night!" I turned my back on his muttered swearing and grinned. The next planet we went to would be a tropical paradise – I was quite certain of this. FIN