As it was getting dark outside and walking through the cold once a day is enough, I had no real choice but to settle down. After carefully checking the offered mattress was, in fact, just that, and not a random sow.

When I was as alone as I could get in room full of lower lifeforms, I took out my small transmitter to send a message to the hive where a certain green jerk was waiting, in all comfort and warmth, for a report.

"I will kill you," I sent. "I will have you trampled to death by pigs."

A sleepy grumble and a disgruntled yawn were the first sounds that came back. "Fillyz, I am so glad to hear you haven't lost your sense of humour. Even if your sense of timing leaves much to be wished for. How is the culling forecast for tomorrow?"

"Not a chance. These guys are far too wary and will go into hiding at the first sign of an attack. And before you ask - there are no spare thugs around I would lure out of the settlement." I may be a Wraith worshipper but I do have priciples.

"So this was a fantastic waste of time?" Though slightly more awake by now, his mood hadn't improved at all.

"Apparently. My time, I'd like to point out. What are you going to do to make up for this?"

"Oh, I could offer you numerous options, none of them to your taste, I'm certain." Sleepy or not, there was no mistaking the dirty smirk in his voice.

Rolling my eyes to the ceiling, I suppressed a groan. "You could start with coming down her in a dart to pick me up right now because there is no way I'm going to walk back to the cruiser!"

Another grumble came back. "Right. Consider it done. Can you get out of there without raising suspicion?"

Casting a quick glance around, I was sure the only one noticing my departure would be the elderly pig that happened to roam the chamber, snuffling noisily at my boots. The rest of the settlement was in deep slumber.

"I can. But if you send me out into the cold now, I firmly expect to hear your dart engine in two minutes latest, else you will suffer the wrath of one seriosly annoyed worshipper."

This statement was answered by a threatening growl that didn't impress me one bit. "Duly noted. But if you call me down there now in the middle of the night, I firmly expect to see your sweet, little ass in the town square in two minutes latest, else I will leave you on that cold, forsaken planet for six weeks. Over and out!"  

Charming as always, that's my personal pain in the butt.

Carefully avoiding the litter of piglets beleaguering the front door, I sneaked out, checking for guards as I went. All was silent until – I failed to notice the single piglet that woke up as I shuffled my foot past it. It announced my presence with a shrill squealing that woke up its siblings who sprang up in surprise and scrambled around my legs, unbalancing me and sending me down to the muddy ground in a crash!

By that time, mother pig had raised as well, obviously not amused at all that I upset her offspring. With a mad gleam in her tiny, unfocused eyes she charged at me, threads of saliva dripping from her open snout, looking like a particularly ugly demon from an unholy dimension. Not good, so not good at all!

The enormous racket from her and the piglets eventually woke up the townspeople. One by one windows lit up all around me, like a doom bringing chain reaction. Getting up as fast as my frozen feet allowed, I stumbled into the night, at my heels in hot pursuit, mother pig and the smelly cohorts of hell. To my right, a human voice tore through the cold air. "Stop! What's this noise?"

All hail to the gods of unfortunate coincidence - in exactly that moment my communicator, evidently of Wraith origin, dropped out of its pocket and landed in the snow. Oops.

"Alarm! A spy! A traitor! Stop her!" Predictable reaction really, once you've been hunted as a spy you know the drill. I sped up, leaving the stupid piece of technology behind, dodging the hands that suddenly reached out for me, seemingly from all sides. Get to the town square, get to the bloody town square!

Ignoring the wind rushing past past, I strained my ears, willing them to pick up the familiar whine of Tox's dart. Come on! Where are you? Useless green sonofa-!




Part I can be found here: [link]